My daughter, your mom and I occasionally fight. You’ll hear us at some point or another. Or, if you don’t hear a fight, you’ll recognize distress in our tone toward one another. If Mom and I are not careful, that anger will build up until it’s all any of us can see, and that’s bad. I stumbled on something a while ago that helps me constructively use my anger when we fight. Maybe it’ll work for you, too. When angry, put that energy into making yourself do something you particularly don’t like to do yet you know the other person loves. For me, that meant cleaning th e kitchen. I can’t tell you the number of times your mom and I have talked and fought about the frequency which one should clean the stove top. It’s embarrassingly cliché. She and I have very different tolerances for piles of dirty things, and if you ever want to have happy roommates you should always default to your mother on this one. So when she and I fight to the point of having to separate for a few hours, I try my best to deep clean the kitchen. I usually spend the first 95% of the time rehashing why I think I’m right and she’s wrong. But somewhere between cleaning all the dishes and wiping down the stovetop, my need to be right dissipates, which puts me in a better place to listen to your mother and have a more constructive conversation. More importantly, it gives me time and the right state of mind to remember why I love her. So, listen my daughter, being angry and fighting with someone is part of life. It actually can be a good thing sometimes. But anger, like filth in a kitchen, gets into every nook and corner of your soul. Don’t let yourself have a high tolerance for it before cleaning it out. #CleanHouseHappySpouse #angermanagement #parenting #fatherlessons